Monthly Archives: August 2013

A Quick and Easy Guide on How to Hell Raise

There are a lot of horror film franchises that have let me down. Scream, Friday the Thirteenth, Nightmare on Elm Street; They have all devolved into pointless, mindless and, to be frank, stupid repetitions of the same old song and dance. There was one franchise that disappoints more than any other and that’s the Hellraiser series.

I have watched all nine movies, all the way through, and if ever there was a squandered and lost opportunity, it would be Hellraiser. While Friday the Thirteenth was always doomed to be nothing more than simple series of slashings, Hellraiser showed far more promise. For the few people who read my blog and have not seen this movie, it’s about a puzzle box that opens a gateway to a dimension of extreme please and pain. It is governed by demons/angels/crazy dudes in bondage gear called The Cenobites and they attract the truly depraved.

Over the course of the series, they managed to do a lot of things with the material. It wasn’t always the same, tired story retreaded and rewritten. ¬†They’ve done period pieces and futuristic visions of a dark future and even a noir of sorts. But it’s always felt lackluster and done with the bare minimum of funds. There is a potential for truly interesting storytelling and creepy and frightening visuals, but after the first two films, they stop dipping so deeply in the well and rely on tried and true methods.

And then it ends up with the last two movies which were so awful that I don’t even want to talk about them. Hellraiser: Hellworld¬†turns Pinhead into just another slasher and Hellraiser: Revelations basically remakes the first movie but with poorly written and unlikable characters, a profoundly pointless plot and a mean spirited darkness that I’m sure the screenwriter thought was edginess and grit.

It’s a series that held so much potential and you can even see where they tried to maximize that potential; but the lacked the time, the funds or the ability to make it a reality. And, by the end, they ended up being as bad and, it pains me to say this, creatively worse than Jason X.

I want a remake, but one made with Clive Barker guiding it. Maybe Guillermo del Torro directing. That’s what I want. Until then, I don’t think we’ve seen what Pinhead is truly capable of.


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Filed under Horror: Movies, Books, Stories and More

Keeping Calm

In the past, I think it would be fair to say that I would overindulge in the Halloween spirit. I would be dragging the giant spider out of the closet in September, chugging pumpkin spice beers in August and handing out candy to strange children in the middle of July.

But, as a result, I would really be down on Halloween by October 1st. There’s only so many horror movies and horror themed beverages one can consume before one really wants it to be Christmas instead.

So, while I would normally be gleefully informing you of how many days are left until Halloween, I am going to show restraint. Things will be calm around here. Until October 1st, at which point, things are gonna get orange and black in here.

Also, buy your tickets to Rock and Shock 2013.


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Filed under Halloween: Rock and Shock, 31 Days of Spooktacular, Spoooky Beer Reviews and More