I normally don’t talk about politics. I think it ends up being a preaching to the choir situation, where your enjoyment of the entry comes from whether or not you agree with me already. I don’t think I’m going to change any minds and I think, at best, I can just get people to understand where my views are coming from. Which is fine. I think the country would be in a better position right now if people spent less time trying to force everyone to agree than if they just tried to spend five minutes trying to understand where someone is coming from.
So that’s what I’m going to try and do right now. I want to understand. I want you, the reader, if you disagree with me, to tell me where you’re coming from. I’m doing this, because I really do not understand. I am lost. I am incapable of empathizing.
Here’s the issue: In my old state (North Carolina), they’re going to vote on Amendment 1. It defines marriage as being between a man and a woman and they’re voting on this tomorrow.
And I want to know why, because this kind of thing makes me angry. In point of fact, I’m pretty fucking pissed off right now. I do not, cannot, comprehend the sheer amount of cussedness it takes for one human being to try and restrict another human being’s happiness when no-one is being hurt. These are consenting adults. These are individuals who have made a decision to legally bind themselves to one another. And you are saying no.
Why are you saying no?
That’s all I want to hear from you. I don’t want to change your mind. I don’t want to enter in a discussion with you. I have no ambitions or designs upon your opinions, even if those opinions are about to strip rights from your fellow citizens.
Is it for religious reasons? Have you read your Bible and you’ve read that bit about how God doesn’t want men to lay with men as they lay with a woman (Lev. 18:22)? If you’re religious, I can see how that might be a reason. These are the holy words of God. You don’t want to disobey them. That’s a sin. You’ll go straight to hell for ignoring His words.
Do you also make sure to keep your woman outside of the house during her menses? She’s unclean, you know. Needs to be purified. That’s Leviticus 12. Whole chapter on how filthy women are when they’re menstruating. I’m guessing there aren’t a lot of good, Christian women who obey any of those laws, even if they are the holy word of God. Not a lot of Christians nowadays who pay attention to any of the old laws though. They ignore the dietary laws. They ignore the laws about the Sabbath. They ignore any laws about sacrifices or stoning. Not a lot of adulterers being stoned nowadays.
So why not ignore the whole bit about men laying with other men? You find it so easy to ignore everything that’s inconvenient for you or your family. You pick the one thing that’s so easy to do. All you have to do is hate someone that’s different. You ignore Jesus when he says “Sell all that you own and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in Heaven.” (Mark 10:3). You ignore when Jesus says that the second most important thing (after loving God) is to love your neighbor (Matthew 22 36:40).
Do not hide behind your holy book when you deny your fellow man. Do not cower behind religion when you hate someone who is different from you. Have the decency and the backbone to acknowledge the fact that your hate, your contempt, your bigotry comes not from holy words or from saints or angels, but from yourself.
Are you trying to protect the sanctity of marriage? Do you think, for some reason, that marriage can be ruined by two people with the same genitals getting hitched? I think a marriage can be ruined by spousal abuse and domesticate violence. I think a marriage can be ruined by alcoholism or drug addiction. I think a marriage can be ruined by two people who no longer love each other. I think a marriage can be ruined by infidelity or boredom or illness or bottled emotions or money problems.
But I don’t see YOUR marriage being ruined by Adam and Steve getting hitched, just like I don’t see your marriage getting ruined by Stephanie and Adam…ina. Marriage is not an institution, a grand old building that can be ruined by one thing. Marriage is a legal contract between two people. So explain to me how the sanctity of your marriage is being ruined by two dudes. Please. I want to know. Explain to me in excruciating detail why this is the case.
Because I…do…not…understand. And I’m furious. And I’m not a gay man trying to get married. So I can’t even imagine how anyone in that position must feel. Even if they don’t want to get married, I imagine they’re pretty pissed that someone is telling them that they can’t just for pure pissedness.
So tell me, in the comments below, why? That’s all I want. Tell me why you don’t think same-sex couples should enjoy the same legal benefits as different-sex couples.
I’m done yelling. I’m ready to listen.
4 thoughts on “Tell Me Why, Amendment One”
This makes me want to cry–you know it actually passed.
I thought this was appalling: The second truth was underscored by, of all people, House Speaker Tom Tillis. A Republican, Tillis helped push Amendment 1 onto the ballot. But recently he predicted that if it passes, and even if a federal court doesn’t strike it down, it won’t last more than a generation before the voters in North Carolina repeal it.
Why? Because as Tillis said, younger North Carolinians are growing up at a time when more gays are out, and more out gays are their brothers and sisters, their cousins, even their fathers and mothers—and themselves. Gays are, in a word, us. And “we the people,” as most young people understand better than their elders, deserve fair treatment.
This, more than anything, makes me think this is about spite. I didn’t bring it up in the entry because I was on a roll on something else, but the whole thing reeks of pettiness. Gay marriage was already illegal in North Carolina. This was just one more way to spit on people they didn’t agree with.
To add to your theory–there was a celebration at a hotel in Raleigh of supporters of the Amendment, and they served everyone pieces of wedding cake. If this was all about the Bible, etc., wouldn’t they be at a church thanking god?