I have a tendency to stay away from groups. I try not to belong to things. It’s equal parts introversion and orneriness. If you’re on the outside, you’re free of the constraints of that group. You don’t have to meet every Wednesday night and discuss Russian literature. You don’t have to speak some weird, hidden code language with indecipherable jargon. No commitments, no obligations, no nadda.
At school, I stayed away from extracurricular activities. No latin club for this cool cat! I never went to a major sporting event in either high school or at UNC. I tried to stay away from cliques at school and work.
Part of the point of the Baseball Project is that I’m finally, grudgingly, acknowledging that it can be fun to be on the inside. When I watched the Superbowl in a bahr with a bunch of other yelling Patriots fans, it was fun. I mean, it was depressing as hell that they lost, but that was also good. Not the losing, the being depressed.
As weird as it sounds, I’m looking forward to the wins AND the losses of following the Red Sox, just because it’ll mean I’m part of a group, willingly too!