I have a huge problem with exercise: it’s not instantaneous. I’ve always had this problem. I’d run for a few days and I’d still be winded or my time wouldn’t dramatically increase and then I’d get discouraged and stop. I couldn’t see any real progress being made and that was inordinately frustrating.
And I’m running into that same wall again. “God damn it, why aren’t I instantly in shape now? I ran for THREE DAYS.” That’s not a joke. That’s how I really feel.
What makes it even more frustrating is that I’m fully aware of how stupid that is. Getting into shape isn’t going to take three days or a week or two weeks. And it’s not something I can just attain and then stop doing. “Wellp, I done my running, I can quit till the End of Days.”
This time, I’m glad I have a bigger goal than just “get into shape.” I want to box. I want to step into the ring and see how that feels, so I can either let it go or keep at it. And because I have something very specific to set my eyes on, I think I can keep this up. Even on those days when I feel like I should be doing better. Even on those days when I’m panting and I’m feeling every cigarette and every day I just sat in a chair for ten hours and every double quarterpounder (with cheese!).
All this so I can let some big dude whale on me for three, three minute rounds.
I am not sane.