I’ve been thinking a lot about moments lately.
I’m rapidly, quickly, and oh so slowly approaching one such moment. It’s so clearly defined, so obvious a moment, a Point where my life will be affected in ways I can’t even begin to imagine.
I can count the big ones, those massive moments that stand tall in my life and marking those times where things have Changed. Those moments that caused my life to shake, rattle and roll. But this particular moment is not coming upon me unawares. It came from a long chain that started way back in April.
No, wait, further back. Maybe around January.
No, even further back.
Let’s do this right and nail down the exact day it all started, at least from a point when I noticed it. Looking back through the records, it all started on December 4th, 2005 at 5:41am (my time).
Now, I didn’t remember that off the top of my head. It’s not a moment that came with any great explosion. I had to go and look it up. If things had followed a different path, if things had gone any number of other ways, that moment would have become lost in million other moments that have passed between here and now.
But because I did follow the path I did and because luck was on my side and because someone else followed the same path, that moment has taken on a special significance for me, where my heart quickens and I begin to grin just thinkin’ about it.
And looking back at it, I’m…terrified at how easily things could have been different. How small a thing that one little moment was. How close I came to living a different life. In all probability, I could have been just as happy. There might be a Dylan out there, in the infinite number of multiple universes, who followed the other path and he’s smiling too. But I doubt it. I can’t see how things could be this good without that moment. I don’t see how my life could have turned out this well without that small, shining point in my life where I saw a multitude of paths and I took the one that brought me closer to her.
And I can still trace that path, that lead me further along. You have to look hard to see it, if you’re not me. It winds and disappears between trees and bushes and vines, but it’s easy to see if you know where to look. And then here and there moments, little sparks, bright signposts on a more definite road. Here, an invitation to talk (April 7th, 2006). Over there, those long conversations that took up entire nights.
It stops being a path and becomes a road. One that is well marked, clearly defined, highlighted by thousands of moments.
And leading up to that Point, the one that approaches so quickly and yet, at a snail’s pace.
And the thing is, the Point is not the exciting part. It’s not the part that gets my stomach to jump and my heart thumpin. The thing that makes me so happy is that I can see the road beyond that point. That I can see this continuing on so far and so long that I don’t see the end of it. That this point is just one more moment in the thousands more to come.