Food and I have an unhealthy relationship. I have a tendency to go toward the strange and bizarre. And by that I don’t mean, say, octopus (too crunchy, not enough flavor). I mean that weird crap that lurks on the bottom shelves of grocery stores and gas-stations, like mint flavored frappucinos and snack cakes made by shady Mexican companies.
All the regrets of my life are centered around the fact that I never got to try a deep-fried Krispy Kreme hamburger or an emu burger. Which is depressing. Everyone should know the pure and simple joy of a food item that induces a massive coronary mere seconds after taking a bite.
Which is why I will not let a similar opportunity pass me by. I am, of course, talking about KFC’s Double Down. Imagine, if you will, a BLT. Now imagine that, instead of disgustingly healthy bread, the bacon has been sandwiched between two pieces of fried chicken. Now imagine that your initial reaction is not one of depression and sorrow at the state of the American diet, but happiness and elation. Now you’re me.
It is my goal to seek out this Double Down, eat it and then try not to cry tears of unadultered joy at such a thing existing in my lifetime.
Updates to follow!