Tag Archives: writer

April 28, 2013 · 7:48 pm

Resolutions!: An Update

After last week’s disappointing showing with regard to getting back on track with my resolutions, I am happy to report that:

1. Emily and I went running this past week. Twice, even. While I can’t say it was easy, I will say that it was nowhere near as hard as I had been dreading. In fact, there were moments where I might even say that I had fun. While running. Part of that comes from the fact that I have been slowly figuring out the correct way to run. It turns out that if you don’t do something well and inefficiently, it’s not a lot of fun to do.

2. As I mentioned in my earlier post, I have been writing fiction again, albeit in small amounts. What’s more exciting to me is that I’ve been thinking of new projects and ways to monetize my writing, which hasn’t happened in a while. My attitude is slowly shifting away from this prolonged laziness and shifting up into another gear. So we’re going from Park to Neutral now. Unfortunately, there are no hills near-by and this metaphor is going nowhere fast.

So I’m feeling accomplished.

Go me!

-D-

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February 17, 2013 · 2:04 pm

Playing in Someone Else’s Playground

I’ve been working on a story to submit that takes place in an already established universe and the experience has been…interesting, to say the least.

When I’m writing for myself, it’s fairly speedy. I make up the rules for the world and away I go, only stopping because I saw something shiny on the internet. The story will be fully formed in my head and I’ll usually only change things based on the story itself.

But because I’m playing in someone else’s world, I have to abide by the rules. Which means research. Lots and lots and lots of research. Keeping in mind that I only have to write a thousand word sample, I would say that I’ve devoted a good three or four hours to just reading articles and books to make sure that what I’m writing makes sense within the confines of the world. And this is a lot for someone who never does research when they write.

I’ll write for a little bit, then wonder if I can actually do what I’ve done and then head back onto wikipedia. And then go back and erase three hundred words. It’s a jarring and jolting process, like riding in a car driven by someone who doesn’t know how to drive stick; I go forward a foot, jerk to a violent stop, roll back a few feet and start again.

But, in a way, it’s freeing. Most of the heavy lifting has been taken off of my shoulders. I can just focus on the plot and the characters without spending too much time on world building. Its a shift in priorities and a different type of writing that I’m enjoying and fits better into the time I have available.

So, maybe, in a few months I’ll be contributing to someone else’s universe and then I can take another whack at my own worlds.

-D-

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January 1, 2013 · 2:59 pm

I Do Resolve

As has become a tradition, I will spend today not looking at how I goofed up last year’s resolutions, but looking at how I can improve for the following year. As I grow ever older, I’m learning more and more about myself; not just in how I need to improve, but in the best way to improve. For example:

1. This year I want to write two to three blog entries a week. Last year I resolved to write ten blog entries a month and I succeeded, though there were a few months that the last week of the month was loaded down with last minute entries. While I don’t necessarily want to increase the number of entries I write this year, I want do want to increase their regularity. Previous attempts to write on specific days failed miserably. I would get so hung up on trying to write on Monday/Wednesday/Friday that I if missed those specific days, I wouldn’t feel the need to make up the day on Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday/Sunday. With this new resolution, you get the same amount of content, spread out regularly through the month and, hopefully, less last minute, badly written entries.

2. I hesitate to mention writing projects. I’ve found through my own experience that announcing a writing project or a planned writing project removes all of my interest in actually carrying out the project. So secret resolutions go here.

3. I want to run, continuously, around the reservoir. In the last few weeks, I’ve fallen away from my running, but hell, this is the time to get back on old horses. It’s always better to pick a specific goal rather than a general one (I will be able to run two miles in five minutes versus I will run more), so as my first running goal I want to be able to run completely around the local reservoir without stopping. I hope, truly hope, it won’t take all year to do, but once I accomplish this goal, I can adjust accordingly and choose a new target.

4. I want to expand my cooking knowledge. I want to plan a series of recipes to make throughout the year, some difficult, some less so, but right now my recipe repertoire is a little lacking. Cooking, to me, is like magic, but, you know, real. The ability to make a good meal, a meal that people want to eat, is an ability worth having. My end goal this year is to make….bouillabaisse. Don’t ask why I chose this. Maybe because it’s French and French cooking has a certain something about it. Maybe it’s because Alton Brown talked me into it with an episode on making bouillabaisse. Maybe because it seems difficult, but doable. Whatever the reason, it’s one more goal for the year. To make bouillabaisse.

And that’s it for goals I have for the whole year. I have other things I want to do and accomplish, but they’re small projects or events or none of your business (for now). I hope there’ll be some exciting things in store for ya’ll.

In the meantime, enjoying a metric ton of beer reviews.

-D–

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November 30, 2012 · 9:15 pm

I Have Done It

It took me three tries and a lot of elbow grease, but I did it. I beat NANOWRIMO.

It’s hard for me to be ecstatic right off the bat. For the most part, I just feel tired. And I hate my book. I think it’s a dreadful thing, only fit for burning and as quickly as possible.

But, as the organizers of NANOWRIMO are so fond of saying, it’s not the quality that matters here. It’s about actually completing a novel. And I’ve done that. I’ve written 50,000 words of complete and utter terrible that will never see the light of day.

It’s an accomplishment that I’m not proud of. I will never mention it in polite company. I will not bandy it about in front of the relatives. It is my secret victory.

More important to me is the fact that I wrote something everyday for the last two months. I am very close to completing the 66 days necessary to form a good habit. It already feels very strange not to write. I feel a need to write now, a strong desire to sit in front of my computer and actually get some work done.

And my computer does not feel so much like a toy or an entertainment device. It feels like a place where I work.

So, thank you NANOWRIMO. I feel more like a writer, though not like a particularly good one.

Baby steps.

-D-

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November 26, 2012 · 7:37 pm

Push it to the Limit

Writing every day and for between 1500 to 2000 words at a time (and sometimes more) has been one of the harder things I’ve done. It’s not about the amount of words. I can write that much in an hour and then I’m done. That’s not bragging, at least I don’t think it is. 1000 words does not take much effort to put down on paper, if you actually care about those words anyway.

No, it was the writing everyday and pushing myself to write every day. It’s the writing when I’m worn out from work and all I want to do is drink beer and watch a bad movie and listen to loud music. It’s writing when all I want to do is forget about what words look like and what a page is and when I just want to throw my computer through a window because I…just…can’t…type…one…more…word.

I’m not one of those people who’s very good at finding deep reserves of inner strength just as they’re fading and about to lose the big race. I’m more the person who says, “Well, I guess that’s that” stop running and walk away.

I have wanted to give this up. It’s such an awful book. It’s such a drain on my time and energy and I’m tired of sitting here and creating a shitty book that should not and will not see the light of day. And it is a shitty book, filled with purple prose and weird, hateful little people and monstrous imagery that disturbs me and disturbs me further when I realize I came up with it.

But…I will not let this be the arena in which I lay down and die, rather than just struggle on for those precious few inches. I will find that last bit of energy, I will find those secret reserves. I will dig deep. I will find the eye of the tiger. I will rage, rage against the dying of the light.

I will finish this shitty book, because it tasks me. It tasks me. And if my chest were a mortar I would burst my heart upon it. For hate’s sake, I will finish this novel.

For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath…at thee.

-D-

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November 9, 2012 · 7:40 pm

Under Pressure

I absolutely hate to write this way.

My preferred method is to write a few paragraphs. Go back. Make sure everything is right. Are the words I used the rights ones? Did I use enough detail? Does this line make sense? Maybe I should take that part out.

It takes me a few hours to really write a few pages of a first draft. I want it to be researched and edited and nothing left out.

Believe it or not, this type of writing does not lend itself to getting anything done. I spend way too much time on the editing while I’m writing that by the time I near the end, I just bolt, trying to finish it to finish it, because I’m so tired of looking at the damn thing.

With NANOWRIMO, I can’t do that. If I want to keep on track of writing 1,700 words a day, then I need to never look back and just keep going. And I hate it. I hate every second of it. I’m embarrassed about what I’m writing, even though I know the only person looking at it is me. It’s shoddy writing, slipshod and badly composed. Every adverb I write, I want to throw the whole thing in the trash and start over.

But I think I need to do this to get better as a writer. As badly as I’m writing, I’m taking more time to think of ways to add words. One of the main problems I have is I write too lean. With NANOWRIMO, writing lean will kill you. So I throw in more words and more words and I’m learning how to actually lay down the words one after the other and not to look back.

You can’t look back. There are too many unwritten words ahead. Have to keep moving forward.

Why am I wasting time here?

Back to the shitty novel!

-D-

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November 2, 2012 · 7:17 pm

Good Habits Are Hard to Make

I’ve gotten used to writing every day. It’s what I do. I come home from work. Get dinner and/or a beer, sit down in front of the computer and try and  make words appear on the screen.

It’s been a long, long time since I’ve felt that way. For the last two years, writing has been a special occasion; something I do for holidays or events or because I really have nothing better to do.

But now writing has turned into part of my day, as opposed to something that I could do today.

But it still feels very fragile, like if I stopped, even for a day, I would fall out of the habit and go back to the way things used to be. And that scares me so much. I don’t want to go back to that. Writing is so embedded in who I am and I how I think of myself, that I can’t believe how far I let it slip away from me before. I can’t believe how I almost let it fall away completely.

You can’t just call yourself a writer, but never produce anything. I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to be the person who tries to skate by on the stories that he wrote five years ago.

But that’s what I’ve been doing. I love the stories in my book, but I wrote them a lifetime ago. You should, by all means, read them and enjoy them. But I was a different person then, in the long ago. I want to write stories that reflect who I am now.

So I’m going to keep moving forward, laying down words, one after the other.

It takes 66 days to build a good habit. I have 34 more days to go.

And I’m going to make it.

-D-

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November 1, 2012 · 6:28 pm

NANOWRIMO: Day 1

It is November 1st, which means it’s the first day for NANOWRIMO.

For those that don’t know, NANOWRIMO stands for National Novel Writing Month. The goal is to write a 50,000 word novel by November 30th. The goal is not to write a great novel, or a good novel or even an average novel. The goal is to finish writing a novel, period.

For people like me, who rarely, if ever, finish anything, just finishing a novel is a big deal.

So, once again, for the third time, I’m participating.

I have to write 1,667 words a day to accomplish the goal, which means that I won’t be updating the blog as much as I did in October, but I am re-instituting the three days a week update schedule. From now on, I’ll be updating the blog on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

But, right now, I have to get started on my novel.

If you’re participating this year too, chime in below. I’m going to try and not go it alone this year and participate in the community. We’ll see how that goes.

No more procrastinating.

-D-

 

Check out my profile and my progress HERE.

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October 28, 2012 · 9:34 pm

31 Days of Spoooktacular: The Little Things

During the Halloween season, people reach for the big scares: movies, haunted theme park rides, horror conventions, creepy costumes. And, I think, they neglect the little details that permeate our lives that are truly unsettling.

Take the following spam comment I got on one of my older entries:

“How should I tell him the bad news?He is respectful to his elders.What happened to you? Please fetch a chair from another room.Don’t forget to keep in touch.what a lovely little girl she is!what a lovely little girl she is!Follow me.Can I help you? Bob has always had a crush on Lucy.”

Spam is almost always nonsensical, but follows a thread of sanity. “I like entry. You should write more peanut allergy entry.” Mostly coherent, but on an entry in which I don’t mention allergies at all. That’s fine.

This one…this one makes no sense in the context of a comment. It just doesn’t fit. And I can’t help but try and put the comment into a context that makes sense.

She’s an older woman, in a room of white, floor, ceiling walls. She’s sitting on a cot, rocking back and forth, curled tightly in on herself. She doesn’t  stop talking, just a constant low murmur directed at no-one, her eyes drifting around the room in aimless directions. She’s worried, agitated.

“How should I tell him the bad news? He is respectful to his elders.” Rocking in time with the words, back and forth. She starts to cry. Crying with no sounds. “What happened to you?”, her hands reach up and clutch her thinning, grey hair. “Please…fetch a chair from the other room.” Tears run down in her face leaving bright tracks under fluorescent lights. “Don’t forget to keep in touch.”

Her tone changes. Fear, trickling into her tone, her breathing increases, becoming erratic.

“What a lovely little girl she is! What a lovely little girl she is!” Rocking back and forth, faster. The words a ward, a charm, spoken emphatically.

She stops rocking, her breathing back to normal in an instant, and turns to you.

“Can I help you?”

She smiles, revealing teeth too even and white to be anything but false.

“Bob always had a crush on Lucy”.

You hear footsteps behind you.

-D-

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October 24, 2012 · 7:33 pm

31 Days of Spoooktacular: The Gauntlet

Way back in the beginning, you may recall that I said that 31 Days of Spoooktacular was part of how I planned to force writing to become a habit for me. Writing has always been something I do sporadically, intermittently and with no true pattern. Even over the course of this year, where I’ve given myself the goal of writing ten entries a month, which I have done so far, I don’t evenly space those entries throughout the month. Usually they’re all shoved in at the end of the month and then I go on another, three week long sabbatical.

But with 31 Days of Spoooktacular, you get one entry a day, every day, for 31 days. And that’s great for me and great for you and everyone is happy, except for people who aren’t so interested in me writing about horror day in and day out. But, if you remember, I said that in order to successfully form a habit, you have to do it for around 70 days. I need to continue to write every day for another 30 days (and some change) before it becomes rigidly locked in as something I just do as an impulse.

It just so happens that there’s an event for the entire month of November that dovetails so nicely with my needs. That’s right, I’m doing NANOWRIMO. Again. But this time, I’m picking up that gauntlet and I am slapping NANOWRIMO in the face with it. I am going to write a 50,000 word novel and then some. The way I see it, I’ve been in training for NANOWRIMO this whole month, a light workout to get me into shape for what’s to come.

And by the end of it, I’ll be the better for it, I think. I’ll have mastered a skill that has eluded me almost my whole life; the ability to stick with something through to the very end. I’ll work on a project, sometimes very close to the ending point and then just sputter out, within spitting distance of the finish line.

But not this year. I can feel it. I have the idea that I want to write about. I have the tools to write it. And here, on October 24th, I think I’ve managed to prove that I have the ability to sit down in front of the computer everyday and put words to screen and keep going long after the point in which I should have stopped.

I have never written a novel, though I have tried. For me, just finishing one, even it’s terrible, will be a triumph of sorts. I’m looking forward to the challenge.

31 Days of Spoooktacular, for all of it’s goofiness and beer tasting and horror conventions, is just the beginning.

-D-

PS Check out my profile here and cheer me on all next month. Or not. It’s fine.

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