So! For the second time this year, I’ve forced myself to write ten entries in a single day. I’d feel bad about making this last entry a cop-out, wrap-up entry, but I don’t.
In the future, I’d like to avoid this little bit of tom foolery. Shouldn’t be too hard. All I have to do is actually update my blog in a reasonable fashion so that I have the proper number of entries up per month.
Anyway, it’s been fun, but I’d really like to go watch Hellraiser now. If, for some reason, you missed any of the entries I wrote today just click on the following links.
Thank you and good night,
As a horror movie, Cabin in the Woods is pretty terrible. It’s hilarious, well-acted and my favorite movie to come out this year, but it’s a terrible horror movie.
It’s similar to Scream in a lot of ways. There’s a lot of winking and nodding at the audience, but where Scream decided to be scary, Cabin in the Woods went down a different trail.
I like to think of the two movies as two sides of the same coin: a reverent acknowledgement of horror movies. Scream was constrained, somewhat, by the fact that it was still trying to be terrifying and grounded in a real world. Cabin in the Woods just laughed and away it went. There were nods and smiles to Evil Dead and Hellraiser and The Ring and every slasher movie ever made. It was a movie that felt like it was made by people who knew and loved the genre and weren’t afraid to make fun of it along the way.
They stripped horror bare and showed us what it really was: it’s our fears and our nightmares imprinted on celluloid. When we go to the movies and watch them to be afraid, we’re not just trying to be entertained. We’re trying to exorcise the demons from a time when we were lost and afraid in the woods and we didn’t know what terrors the shadows could hold.
That is the beauty of horror. It lets us be afraid in a safe place, a warm place, with other people and friends.
And Cabin in the Woods is a hurrah to that. It has us look at those celluloid monsters and peels back at the shadows and lets us laugh at our fears.
In no way is Cabin in the Woods scary, which it makes it a terrible horror movie, but it’s of the same spirit and gives us the backbone we need to look into the darkness and just…laugh.
Last year, I was going to go to the Rock and Shock Horror Convention, but circumstances prevented me. Luckily, my friend was able to grab the following for me:
So all was not lost.
But I still want to go. I need to go. A horror convention is like the Mecca for horror fans. You realize you’re not the only freak in the world who likes red corn syrup and Tom Savini. You’re surrounded by the fans of the genre and the people who make that genre go: Actors, directors, make-up artists and writers.
It’s a chance to revel in something that I have to hide, for the most part. At Rock and Shock, it’ll be different. For starters, there’ll be bigger, crazier fans than I am there, so I’ll be almost normal. I am NOT going in costume and I am not go to shriek like a nine-year-old girl when I see Doug Bradley and Danny Trejo IN THE SAME ROOM! EEEEE!
I lied about the second thing.
The point is, I plan to write at least four blog entries while I’m there and I’m so excited, you just can’t imagine.
While watching the remake of My Bloody Valentine (not the 3D version, because beer reviewing and 3D blood splatter don’t make for good companions) I decided that Hollywood will never again make a movie that can legitimately frighten me. They might be able to make me vaguely uneasy or jump in surprise, but they will never scare me.
The last time a movie actually gave me the out and out willies was Anti-Christ, a movie made in Europe somewhere. It was weird, controversial and, I’m assuming here, was not in the business of being a blockbuster.
I need weird. I need unpredictable. I need unrelenting. I need discomfort.
I’m bored by movies that spend half their set-up on characters that are tropes so worn out that you can see the seams and then just try and kill them off in the most creative way possible. It’s boring and tedious and I want something new.
It’s the complete absence of imagination that frustrates me and you need to have imagination to make a creative work do what it is intended to do. You will never be effective if you’re remaking horror movies from the 80′s.
I hate just bashing on Hollywood because I believe, for all its flaws, it’s a system that still makes some great movies and a lot of good movies. But Jesus, when was the last time they made a truly inventive and scary horror movie?
Said the man who immediately went back to watching My Bloody Valentine.
I’m taking it upon myself to review as many Octoberfests and Pumpkin Ales as I possibly can during the Halloween Season. All while listening to “Thriller”.
Next up: Cambridge Brewing’s The Great Pumpkin Ale
I’m going to be honest with you: I’m kind of getting sick of pumpkin ales. They taste violently of pumpkins and I can only take so much of it. And why JUST pumpkins? Come on guys, there are more ways to celebrate the season than with the flavor of pumpkins! Like….candy corn beer.
Ugh, never mind. Talked myself out of that right quick.
Luckily for me and my sudden bitterness toward pumpkin ales, The Great Pumpkin Ale is nowhere near as strongly flavored as the truly awesome Pumking. It has a strong, spicy smell that’s immediately no better or worse than any of its cousins. And the first taste gives you a strong burst of spice flavor, but not a lot of pumpkin flavor.
It’s the finish that makes this a more dissatisfying beer, pumpkin ale or otherwise. It just kind of…stops and leaves you hanging with a kind just-there aftertaste. It feels…incomplete.
I made Emily try some while she was eating some pumpkin bread (that I baked myself) and she said it was really good. So! If you want a good beverage to go with your pumpkin based foods, go with The Great Pumpkin Ale. Its less in-your-face pumpkintude will complement your meal with aplomb!
I give it a Charlie Brown Halloween Special.
I read something recently that said that in order to get into the habit of doing something, you have to do it for about 70 days. After that point, it’ll become a habit, solidly entrenched into your daily routine.
It occurred to me that, very shortly, I’ll be writing in this blog everyday for a month. That’s 30 straight days of writing. I’ll be halfway to forming a new habit.
I should take advantage of it. I need to take advantage of it. Instead of writing being this thing I sometimes do, it’ll be something I do every day and it’s what I need to do if I ever want to make something more of this than just a blog and one book.
When I read that it takes 66 days to form a new habit, it actually gave me hope. You see, I’ve never written for 66 days straight. Maybe my inability to write for a living has nothing to do with some inner failing, and more the fact that I’m just incapable of doing anything for 66 straight days without getting distracted and wandering away.
October 1st, 2012 is the day when I start a good habit.
And that’s it.
I have now written ten blog entries in a single day. And they weren’t small entries neither! So no complaining that you were shorted on portions.
If there’s anything that I learned about this whole process, it’s that it wasn’t stressful enough. What I really need to do is twenty-four blog entries over the course of a single day.
That would be the best thing to do.
But first I need a month long vacation from blogging. I’m out of ideas and I have suspicious pains in both of my wrists.