For the last two or three months, I feel like I’ve been aimlessly drifting. Writing has fallen by the wayside. Exploring has fallen by the wayside. When I’m not working, I’m in the apartment, getting nothing of note done. Simple, slow patterns of doing and thinking nothing. It’s the listless boring existence that quietly extinguishes creative sparks and nullifies all drive to do something, anything, that taxes my brain.
I just come home, have a beer and go to sleep. Wake up, go to work, come home, have a beer, go to sleep. On and on and on and on. Day off? Wake up have a beer, watch a movie, surf the web, oops, it’s night, time to sleep.
I don’t exert myself, physically or mentally. I don’t go out of my way to try anything new. A large part of that is work draining every last bit of my energy, couple with my natural disinclination to get off my ass and get things done. Each thing on its own is damning, but combined, I’m just…floating.
Today, I realized that this needs to change. That there are more important things than this job and that I need to back the fuck off before I get even more zombified. Yesterday’s blogathon was refreshing and stretched muscles that I’d forgotten that I had. It’s time to get back to work. To wake up and start caring about what matters.