Tag Archives: cooking

I Do Resolve

As has become a tradition, I will spend today not looking at how I goofed up last year’s resolutions, but looking at how I can improve for the following year. As I grow ever older, I’m learning more and more about myself; not just in how I need to improve, but in the best way to improve. For example:

1. This year I want to write two to three blog entries a week. Last year I resolved to write ten blog entries a month and I succeeded, though there were a few months that the last week of the month was loaded down with last minute entries. While I don’t necessarily want to increase the number of entries I write this year, I want do want to increase their regularity. Previous attempts to write on specific days failed miserably. I would get so hung up on trying to write on Monday/Wednesday/Friday that I if missed those specific days, I wouldn’t feel the need to make up the day on Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday/Sunday. With this new resolution, you get the same amount of content, spread out regularly through the month and, hopefully, less last minute, badly written entries.

2. I hesitate to mention writing projects. I’ve found through my own experience that announcing a writing project or a planned writing project removes all of my interest in actually carrying out the project. So secret resolutions go here.

3. I want to run, continuously, around the reservoir. In the last few weeks, I’ve fallen away from my running, but hell, this is the time to get back on old horses. It’s always better to pick a specific goal rather than a general one (I will be able to run two miles in five minutes versus I will run more), so as my first running goal I want to be able to run completely around the local reservoir without stopping. I hope, truly hope, it won’t take all year to do, but once I accomplish this goal, I can adjust accordingly and choose a new target.

4. I want to expand my cooking knowledge. I want to plan a series of recipes to make throughout the year, some difficult, some less so, but right now my recipe repertoire is a little lacking. Cooking, to me, is like magic, but, you know, real. The ability to make a good meal, a meal that people want to eat, is an ability worth having. My end goal this year is to make….bouillabaisse. Don’t ask why I chose this. Maybe because it’s French and French cooking has a certain something about it. Maybe it’s because Alton Brown talked me into it with an episode on making bouillabaisse. Maybe because it seems difficult, but doable. Whatever the reason, it’s one more goal for the year. To make bouillabaisse.

And that’s it for goals I have for the whole year. I have other things I want to do and accomplish, but they’re small projects or events or none of your business (for now). I hope there’ll be some exciting things in store for ya’ll.

In the meantime, enjoying a metric ton of beer reviews.

-D–

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Making a Sandwich

To some, a sandwich is a quick and easy lunch. Put something between two slices of bread and bam, you’re ready to go.

Those people should never be trusted, either inside the kitchen or out.

The Sandwich is something that can rise above and beyond its ingredients. In no situation is the term “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts” more applicable. To make a Sandwich right, you have to work at it. It takes preparation. Time. And the willingness to get your hands dirty.

There is no “perfect sandwich”. A vegetarian would not be happy with one of my…creations. But there are ideal sandwiches for each individual. I made such a  sandwich today.

Since I ate my sandwich too quickly for it to be photographed, let me paint you a picture….with words.

First layer, bread. Then yellow mustard and a mild cheddar, sliced thin. Next, a layer of bacon, with some more, thinly sliced cheese. Then some roast beef and turkey. Another layer of cheese. Next, add a second layer of bacon. More cheese and mustard. Bread slice.

The final step involved frying the whole kit and kaboodle in bacon grease.

I’m not writing out this recipe so that you can make it yourself.

I’m writing it here to brag.

It was delicious.

Dylan Charles

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Cobbled in the Kitchen

Today, I nearly set fire to an ear of corn.

It wasn’t on purpose. I generally like my corn non- carbonized. As I’ve mentioned in a few other blog posts, my cooking skills are not quite up to par. So I’ll do things like roll corn cob in some butter and throw it in a pan that’s way too hot and then the fire alarm just won’t stop shrieking and my lunch is ruined.

Part of the reason is that I’m strangely reluctant to learn a new recipe. When I do, I hold onto it and never let go. I’ll make it and remake it until it tastes the way I want it and then I’ll never think about it again. Everytime I decide that I’m going to learn something new, it takes me a couple of days just to think of something to try. I’m overwhelmed by the options.

Do I want to make a dinner or a dessert? What about breakfast? And what kind of meat? And should there be meat? Meat can be a pain to work with. Maybe I’ll do something simple. What about eggs? Which is how I end up making scrambled eggs for the fifth day in a row.

Or I’ll do something really easy like, say, try and cook cook. I’ll flip through the recipes, decide they’re either too much work or involve ingredients and tools I don’t have so I do a half-assed job trying to cobble together the easiest recipes. Sometimes this turns out ok, like with my fried bananas. Other times, I end up with a flaming cob.

What I need is someone to sporadically tell me, “Dylan, make this.” And then I’ll have to learn how to do it. That would cut out the indecisiveness out of the equation and then I could just focus on doing a good job. Or I could just keep eating ramen.

Dylan Charles

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Recipe: Lil’ Griddlin’s

I haven’t talked about it much, but I do a fair amount of cooking. I’ve long ago conquered the egg and ramen is no longer beyond me. After all this experience, I’ve decided to share with you, my lucky readers, a recipe I made up just yesterday. I call it Lil Griddlin’s, because cutesy names hide the despair.

Ingredients:

A half pound or so of ground meat

Some cheese from the back of the fridge

Salt

Pepper

Oil

Mustard

Whoops, almost forgot the onion

Directions:

So what you want to do is chop up the onion and put it in a frying pan at about medium heat. Then have a panic attack when you smell burning onions and you realize that you forgot to put in the oil. Put in some oil, you dingus.

While that’s getting mushy and oily, mix up some salt and pepper into the meat. Throw in some cheese, because why the hell not? Cheese is good.

Make three or so irregularly shaped patties and drop them into the oil and onion mixture. Everything should now smell pretty good. Congratulate yourself. Flip the patties a couple times until you get bored.

Slash one of the patties and take a gander inside. Recoil at the sight of bright pink meat. Holy shit, these are still raw. Hack at all three patties until everything (the patties, you and the wall) is coated in hot oil. There shouldn’t be any pink left.

Take the remains of the patties and scoop them onto a plate. This does not look appetizing. Cover it with some more cheese in an attempt to cover your shame. Squirt mustard on it and enjoy your Lil Griddlins!

Best enjoyed in the dark by yourself.

Dylan Charles

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A Mopsy Proposal

I have a theory and it involves deliciousness. My hypothesis is this: if you were to feed an animal enough something, that animal would taste like that something. To wit; if you were to feed a chicken a substantial amount of pepper, the chicken would then arrive at the dinner table pre-peppered.

Which leads to me to the most potentially delicious thing ever:

The Pudding Rabbit

A pudding rabbit in its natural habitat.

If one were to feed a bunny rabbit sufficient quantities of pudding, I believe you would then have a pudding flavored rabbit. It’s simple science, explained with graphs and numbers and things that I won’t post for fear of someone stealing my idea.

Just imagine the following scenario: a fluffy angora rabbit (named Butterscotch) eating butterscotch pudding, his little whiskers flecked with pudding and his little nose a-wriggling. Now THAT spells scrumptious with a capital “scrump.”

The best part: there are so many flavors of pudding that you’d have a wide assortment of flavored rabbits to choose from. Chocolate, vanilla, butterscotch and tapioca bunnies will just be the start!

I plan to start a restaurant chain that will serve, exclusively, pudding rabbits(TM). If you act now, you can get in on the ground floor of what will soon be the most adorable taste-sensation to sweep the nation.

Dylan Charles

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