A few blog entries ago, I talked about the transience about my interests. I’ll be interested in baseball one month and then be interested in zombies the next month. But I’ve been stuck in my 40K interest for a considerable amount of time by this point. I should have moved on to something else by now.
Instead, I’m still painting models and readings 40K books and listening to 40K podcasts.
This worries me for a few reasons.
I’ve read that a person’s musical interests are pretty much set by the time they’re in college. What you like is what you like and you won’t be able to truly expand your musical interests after you get your bachelors in English Philosophy Theory. Which is depressing in and of itself.
But what if that holds true for everything? What if what you’re interested in freezes after a certain point and you can’t add any more hobbies after a certain point? What if you get locked into model trains or stamp collecting? What if it’s impossible to grow as a human being after a certain point?
That idea of static rigidity of personality scares me more than anything else about growing older. I want to always be trying new things and stretching myself and expanding my comfort zones. I don’t want to be locked in the same damn thing for the next fifty or sixty years. Life is and should be about growing and learning and experiencing. You travel and know and learn and see and do more as you truck along. That’s the best thing about life. The knowing and the doing and the seeing.
But what if it’s possible to become locked into being an old fuddy-duddy who only wants to paint Tyranid models and talk about rules changes in the newest edition and about how the Imperial Guard codex is under-powered? I want to actively fight against that. I want to make a stand against that. I want to be able to stand tall and say, I will not give up without a fight, I will not go quietly into the night. I will always strive to learn a new skill or language or expand a new talent.
But I have models to paint, so I’ll do that later.