Monthly Archives: October 2011

Repeat: Beyond the Veil

Millenia ago, people believed that alongside our own world was another world. The worlds existed apart, but the borders between the two could wear thin and it was possible to cross from one t’other.

It was said that in certain places, during certain times, going to the other world was as easy as crossing through a doorway. One just had to know how.

But to do so, would be to draw the attention of the things that lay beyond the veil. Those things were often beautiful, magickal and immortal, but they were also vicious, cruel and insane. And they coveted us.

There were many stories that told of people being taken. Often the people would never return. Or they would return, only not in their right mind. The beauty of the other world was a strong draw, but it was beyond anyone’s mind to comprehend. Colors and shapes that could not and should not exist. Sounds that demanded to be heard, but defied recognition. The other world was an offense to the mind and abhorrent to the senses, in spite of that awe-full beauty.

So people began to learn the Rules that governed travel between the two worlds. They noted the special times and the special places where travel occurred, even without the consent of the traveler. And sometimes the travel happened the other way: they would come to our world to come for what they coveted.

They noticed that the travel happened during the In-Between Times. The time between night and day. The time between seasons. These were times when it was most easy for the things beyond the veil to cross-over. The biggest In-Between Time came during fall. It was in-between seasons, and in-between years, for they used a different calendar than we did and their New Year was in Fall. It was a powerful time, when the border between the worlds all but fell ‘way.

The people would lock their doors as the sun set, because the time In-Between Day and Night gave the other side the strength it needed to cross over. Inside their homes, they would try and ward off the magick folk that moved through and into shadow. The creatures that lived in the walls of our world. Little scratching, gnawing things that took no shape, that blinded with their very existence, that wanted to take the children away as their own, to be raised in that Other World.

It was a day dreaded and now, on our calendar, that day falls on October 31st.

Dylan Charles

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All Hallow’s Eve Eve Eve Eve

This is more a post to let ya’ll know that I’m still alive and kicking. A series of events have made it hard for me to sit still in front of my computer and write things.

There’ll be more blog entries again soon.

Promise.

Dylan Charles

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Re-Run

I don’t feel like writing much right now. There’s too much going on and I just…can’t. But, here’s a re-post of a blog entry I wrote a long while ago that is apropos in more than one way.

Since I write horror, I often feel the need to defend it. It’s the creepy, inbred cousin in the writing family, the one that you just know is going to pull an Ed Gein and live in a house decorated with body part furniture he got from a satanic Ikea.

For me horror, in most of its forms, functions as a way for people to deal with the horrors of everyday life. We all have little fears and worries that crop up; cancer, heart disease, car accidents, choking, Alzheimers, robbery, exploding suns, etc. And there’s really not much we can do about these things. Bad shit happens, sometimes there’s nothing you can do to avoid it and that’s just a fact.

But horror in fiction is our way of dealing with these mundane monsters. In the beginning of the story, we’re given something to be scared of. Our fears are crystallized into a palpable form, crammed into gruesome figures wearing hockey masks and waving machetes.

And then it’s dispatched. Sometimes with a magical talisman (silver bullets, crosses and holy water), sometimes the heroes just beat the crap out of it. The movie or book conjures up a boogeyman and then dismisses it by the time you hit the last page or the end credits.

And even if the monster’s end is ambiguous, his tale ending with a question mark rather than a full stop, you can tell yourself that it was only a story.

That’s something you can’t do in the real world. There are no silver bullets, holy water wouldn’t even chase off a goth kid and garlic is only good at being delicious.

Horror, at its best, lets you forget the real monsters, the terrible things that can happen in the every day, and, instead, gives you a fear that can actually be dealt with and vanquished.

Dylan Charles

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Clothes Make the Monster

I take my Halloween costumes very seriously. It takes a lot of prep-time to make sure that everything is perfect. It’s important that you never break character once in costume. If you do, the illusion is broken and Halloween loses all of its magic.

For instance, this year I’m going as a private eye. So, for the last two months, I’ve been reading detective novels in order to learn the lingo. Because of the intensive nature of this training, the speech patterns have become writ into my brain and I’ll be able to make wry, cynical comments laced with slang like, “frail” and “moll” and “dame” at the drop of a hat. Consider it a kind of voluntary brainwashing!

I’m also going to need the right clothes. So I’ve spent my time in the Goodwill and thriftshops. Not only are the clothes cheaper there, but they’re more likely to be authentic than something that you’d find in a normal retail setting. If you can’t find a pair of suspenders that would be found on a real 1940′s private detective, then you’ll need to start from scratch.

I’m also shaving off the goatee, plucking my eyebrows, cutting my hair and engaging in some light cosmetic surgery to better fit the model of a guy in the 1940′s.

Once I get my firearms license and buy a Luger from the rather shady, elderly German gentleman that lives over in JP, my costume will be all set.

Just remember: It’s no fun if you don’t take your Halloween costume deadly serious. Spend that extra time to research the fabrics that would be used in your mad scientist costume. A lab coat made of 100% polyester wouldn’t be safe around an errant Bunsen burner! Be sure to read up on original Vlad the Impaler so that you know whether or not your accent truly depicts how Count Dracula would speak, were he alive today.

Because when it’s time to be scary, authenticity is what truly counts.

Dylan Charles

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A Break from the Fear

I’ve been staring at this story for about twenty minutes now and so far I have nothing. I know exactly where this story is going to go. I know what’s supposed to happen and when things are going to happen. A will follow B which will lead to C and then comes D.

I know exactly what I need to write. I’m just not so sure how to write it. I don’t know the proper words. I don’t know the pace. Nothing is really coming that easily.

Truth be told, that’s how the blog has been feeling lately. Probably as a result of my attempts at constantly feeling the Halloween spirit all the time. There’s only so much good-natured horror cheer a person can make themselves feel before they burn out and start swinging a machete like a Jason Voorhees knock-off.

So I need a break from scary is what I’m saying. I need to get out there and watch a movie that’s not filled with blood splatter. I need to smell flowers that aren’t growing on graves. I need to frolic with pets that haven’t been buried in the pet sematary.

Just for a little bit.

Then back to trying to track down a theater that’s showing Human Centipede 2.

Dylan Charles

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Countdown

The Rock and Shock horror convention is fast approaching and my anticipation levels are near manic levels. There’s only one more week left and it’s entirely possible that I might explode before then.

I’ve never been to any kind of convention before. I have only a very loose idea of what to expect. I don’t know what the fans are going to be like. Are there going to be costumes? Will the guests reveal that they haven’t been acting at all and go on a murder spree through the convention hall? Will they stop for pictures in the middle of aforementioned murder sprees?

Anyone out there ever been to one of these? How should I prepare? Should I bring my Elysium Configuration?

Dylan Charles

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Distraction

I have this blog entry to write. I also have a story to write. And a review. I should also be editing my second book.

But

Instead I ended up watching X-Men: First Class. And looking at cute cat pictures on CuteOverload. And playing tower defense games.

I’ve never been good at avoiding distractions. Instead, I run toward them, my arms outstretched, ready and willing to avoid any work that I might have to do.

If it’s productive, then I want nothing to do with it. It doesn’t matter if I enjoy doing it. If I should be doing it, then I run in the opposite direction.

It’s a frustrating problem to have. It requires a great deal of willpower to beat it and since the rewards are so often long term, there’s not that short-term burst of joy that I get from, say, completing a particularly difficult level of Bloons.

There’s no real point to this entry. I just wanted the whole lot of you to know how hard it was to write this entry tonight. Especially when I could be playing Bloons.

Dylan Charles

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The Search

I’m always searching for what I think might be the worst movie ever made. It has to fulfill a number of criteria to qualify.

1. It has to be offensive. It can’t just be poorly made, with bad lighting and bad acting. It needs to offend me on some level. If I’m not angry by the end, then it doesn’t count.

2. It needs to be poorly made. As bad as say, Battlefield Earth is, it’s not badly made. It’s got some visuals to it, by golly. If it’s going to qualify as the worst movie ever, it needs to have booms in frame. It needs to be so poorly lit that I can’t see what’s going on. There needs to be a definite lack of quality present.

3. It has to have no redeeming value. There should be no chance that I learn anything from this morning. There should be no point where I say, “Well, at least it looks like they had fun while they were making this.” From every aspect, the worst movie ever needs to be a waste of everyone’s time. If I see that Alan Smithee is the director, I know I’m on the right track.

Those are a few of the basic criteria needed. I watched a movie yesterday that almost qualifies. It certainly comes close. I was angry, sad and a little sick when it finished, but it was missing something. If it was just a little bit worse…I’m still looking.

And I will find it.

Dylan Charles

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Quitting Quitting is for Quitters

There are times when it’s difficult for me to stay away from cigarettes. Any stress, like from closing down a chain of bookstores, can trigger the desire to smoke. It’s like having an itch I can’t scratch, right between my shoulder blades, that just won’t go away. It’s an ever present tickle and though I can get close to scratching it, I always manage to miss the one spot that would really satisfy it.

It’s at times like those that I need to remember why I’m glad I quit as opposed to really, really wanting just to light up and breathe out smoke like a totally kick-ass dragon. So here are my reasons why I’m glad I quit (90% of the time).

1. My clothes don’t smell like the floor of an especially dingy bar anymore, a bar from before the smoking ban in bars I mean.

2. Likewise, my breath doesn’t smell like the floor of an especially dingy bar.

3. People who quit before the age of 30 reduce the risk of dying prematurely from tobacco related illnesses by 90% (from the NCI).

4. I no longer count the minutes until my next cigarette. More than anything, breaking my dependence on it is what makes me happy. Being bound to something, being made to need to have something, was extremely maddening. I hated the loss of control and now, to a large degree, I have that back.

5. I’m extremely proud of myself every time I want a cigarette, really need to have a cigarette, and I manage to keep from giving in. I have gone 407 days without a cigarette and 90% of the time, I’m damn glad of it.

Dylan Charles

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The Process

In order to get myself hyped about writing reviews again, I’m going to let ya’ll in on a behind-the-scenes look at the process I use when writing reviews. It’s also a good way to get two blog entries out of one movie.

1. First, I pick the movie. This involves going through the collection of horror movies available on Netflix. I flip through the list until I read a plot synopsis that makes me wince. This week’s selection is Hanger, a movie about an abortion gone wrong. Quality!

2. Next, I watch the movie. This can take anywhere from the running time of the movie to a full week, depending on how good the movie is. As I watch, I make notes to help me when I actually start to write the review. Usually the notes are far from helpful since they’re usually things like: “Dialog bad. What write movie?” “Jesus Crickets, this sucks.”

3. After a substantial recovery period, I start to write the review. Since I need a screencap for the review and since I always forget to take the screencap while I’m watching the movie, this means starting up Hanger again. A second substantial recovery period is needed.

4. I then write the review a full month after picking the movie. Generally, I’ve forgotten a great number of details, so I end up rewatching most of the movie to make sure I get my facts right.

5. By this point, I’m now the foremost expert on this movie and it’s time to pick the next movie.

Elapsed time: 2 months

This is assuming that everything goes well. Sometimes I’ll watch an entire movie and there’s nothing interesting to say about it, so I’ll move on to something else. Hanger looks promising though.

Dylan Charles

 

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