Monthly Archives: April 2011

April 30, 2011 · 8:27 pm

Beer Review: Saint of Circumstance

Emily and I walked passed our local alcohol shop when we saw that they were hosting a beer tasting. Since I don’t turn down free alcohol (EVER), we went inside. The brewery was Berkshire Brewing Co., a local brewery that has a fairly wide selection to choose from (including one that tastes like coffee).  I grabbed their Saint of Circumstances IPA, as well as their coffee thing (which I’ll definitely be reviewing later).

Saint of Circumstances is not their regular IPA. The guy running the tasting told us that, due to a fire, they got the wrong shipment of hops. As a result, they ended up brewing a completely different IPA of which they have only a limited quantity and that they’ll never be able to recreate since they don’t know which hops they were shipped.

The moment I heard that it was of LIMITED QUANTITY and soon it would be GONE FOREVER, I had to have it, because I have no willpower when it comes to marketing. As far as rare, soon-to-be-extinct IPAs go, I think this might be one of my favorites. Unlike some recent IPAs I’ve had, it’s not overwhelmingly bitter. It still has some bite, but just enough to make it interesting.

It’s smooth and light with a good clean finish. I didn’t taste the smokiness that the bottle talks about, but there is that vague flavor of grapes that IPA all seem to have in common.  I recommend it if you happen to be in the area and have a chance to actually try it. And if you like IPAs. Or beer in general I guess.

A plusses!

Dylan Charles

Additional: Also, awesome name.

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April 29, 2011 · 5:38 pm

Pick It Apart

I have a bit of difficulty watching a movie or reading a book. If it’s horror or thriller or anything to do with monsters, I constantly take myself out of the experience by critiquing it the entire time. I can’t help but ask myself how I would have written it or how I would have described a character or if I would have gone that route with the monster. Or I just get grumpy that I didn’t come up with the idea.

It makes it a little hard to get invested in a fictional world when I spend the entire time nitpicking the thing from start to end. “Well I don’t know if that’s a realistic way to depict people running in fear.” “Why would the ghost kill people that way? That’s entirely contrary to the nature of ghosts!” “This helldog is entirely too verbose.” I can’t turn off the critic, the writer, the little guy in my brain that wants to do this for a living.

If I want escapism, I usually go for movies or books that aren’t in my genres. That way, I spend less time thinking of how I would’ve done it and just enjoy the ride. Horror is for educational purposes only. It’s how I learn and develop what I do and how I become a better writer. And that is my excuse for why I watch so many terrible horror movies.

Dylan Charles

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April 28, 2011 · 9:02 pm

The Cutting Edge

I’ve always loved gadgets. I like to read about the newest advances in gizmos and watch videos detailing their functionalities and doodads. When the Kindle was first announced, I pored over the specs, watching every available video. I followed the iPad and, to a greater degree, the Courier, Microsoft’s now cancelled tablet PC.

But I never bought any of it. I was always behind the curve, technologically speaking. I have an eleven dollar cellphone and I’m happy with it. Why would I want it to do anything else? Sure, I think the iPhone looks nifty, but I need my phone to make phone calls and not charge me crazy amounts for it.

That’s slowly started to change. After three years, I finally bought the Kindle. I got as cutting edge as you can possibly get with a book. And now, I’ve taken another, terrible step. I got an iPod Touch. I’m listening to it as we speak. It gives me information, almost whenever I want it. I’m now more in contact with the people around me than I used to be.

I’m slowly, steadily plugging in. And I’m terrified. I’m turning a corner where soon I’ll be one of THOSE people; wearing a blue tooth headset and talking to people no-one else can see. I’ll snap pictures of my pets and my lunch and then tweet them. I’ll be so busy emailing someone while playing Angry Birds that I won’t realize that the apartment is on fire

So, in conclusion, have a picture of my guinea pig:

Dylan Charles

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April 26, 2011 · 5:17 pm

Feeding the Flame

I’ll go through long periods of time where my creativity wans completely, leaving me unable to scratch together even a basic plot. When that happens, it’s usually necessary for me to recharge. The best way to do that is to surround myself with what I write. Since I mainly write horror, that means I bury myself in horror movies, books and TV shows in the hopes that the sheer amount of unadulterated blood and gore will put me in the mood to write.

This has a couple of unintended side effects. For example, I begin to look at everything like it’s a potential horror story. I’ll start picking through my nightmares in the hopes that there’s a usable story idea (No, there isn’t. Talking pony dreams scare only me. Apparently.). I’ll try and turn people I see on the street into horrifying characters (Like the Flower Man).  It gets to the point where I can’t see anything without that filter; a filter of bad dreams and blood and despair. This makes me a joy to be around.

At the end of all of that, I usually find that I can’t force a good idea to save my life. Meanwhile, while watching some random science show, I fall onto an idea. I have no idea if it’s any good or not, but the damn thing was almost fully formed and ready to be written. It’s maddening when that happens. It reinforces the idea that I have little control over the ideas and that I need to grab them the moment I get them. Otherwise, I might miss a golden opportunity.

Dylan Charles

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April 23, 2011 · 12:20 pm

Movie Review: Laid to Rest

Article first published as Movie Review: Laid to Rest on Blogcritics.

A young woman (Bobbie Sue Luther) wakes up inside of a coffin with no recollection of who she is or how she got there and she is, perhaps understandably, a little freaked out about the whole thing. After breaking free, she ends up on the run from the lunatic who put her there. It’s a screamy, amnesiac against a dangerous madman wearing a chrome skull mask and it’s no holds barred.

There are a few things to recommend Laid to Rest, although it is ultimately a subpar horror flick. For every obnoxious, cardboard cutout character, there’s someone who I actually cared about. Tucker (Kevin Gage) felt like a human being and I was actually concerned about his well being. Steven (Sean Whalen) was a quirky nerd whose bizarre idiosyncrasies weren’t overwhelming or obnoxious. I ended up liking them a fair amount, making it nerve-wracking when they were put in danger.

Of course, to balance this out, the script called for them to do mind numbingly dumb things that made me want to slap the stupid out of the movie. Tucker spends a lot of time telling everyone they need to stick together and then wanders off on a whim to split up the group. There was also the character who pointed a gun at the killer and then allowed the killer to walk up to him and shoot him with his own gun. Every brain-bendingly stupid action felt like the director was just padding out the film, adding precious minutes to the run time.

Speaking of the killer, he was strangely lackluster for a guy wearing a metal skull mask. Beyond the fact that he liked his camcorder and was on the sadistic side, there’s not much going for him. He had no real hook or personality. He was just the Killer of the Week, another loony in a mask to cover the camera in blood ‘n’ guts. And lord, were there blood ‘n’ guts.

This was probably one of the more gruesome movies I’ve seen in a while, with scenes that genuinely shocked me with how brutal they were. Generally speaking, I don’t need to see people putting their guts back where they belong. Less show, more tell when it comes to eviscerations. If you’re a fan of goo, then you’re in the right place. There’s a lot to see and it’s extremely well done, with faces, heads, and limbs a’flying every which-a-way.

Even more off-putting than the gore, was the first ten minutes, where we’re treated to a schizophrenic’s view of reality. The amount of edits and jump cuts is jarring and there are spaces of time where I was unable to piece together what happened. Someone gets stabbed in the eye, but god only knows how that happened.

For all that, Laid to Rest was not as bad as I was expecting. Decent acting, engaging characters and a ruthless, viscious killer hunting those characters kept me engaged for the duration, but I won’t be thinking about it after I submit this review.

Dylan Charles

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April 21, 2011 · 8:40 pm

Wanderin’ Around this Town

Way back when, back in the days before I was a (blargh) Yankee and I lived in North Carolina, I knew next to nothing about where I lived. Sure, I had a basic sketchy notion of where there was food (Satisfaction) and where one could get some drinking done (Satisfaction) and even a place where one could watch the Duke v. UNC game (Satisfaction). That was about the limit of my knowledge however. I never really did much exploring.

I swore when I moved here (Boston) that I wouldn’t let the same thing happen. I was going to get out there and find things to do and places to go, so that if (God forbid) I ever had visitors, I wouldn’t be stymied for places to show off. Or if I was off of work for TEN DAYS, I’d be able to find something to do with little or no trouble and not go completely batshit insane in my apartment.

And while I’ve kind of been keeping that promise, I’ve really been lapsing the last couple of months. Part of the problem is that Emily has been extremely busy and my natural born timidity reduces the amount I want to go a-wanderin’ by myself.

I figure it’s long past due for me to explore a new area. So tomorrow I’m heading out to Cambridge to take a peek at Central Square. It’s supposed to be filled with shops and things, which is…really not my thing. BUT there’s an “occult bookstore” there and that is more my thing.

Be prepared for a report when I get back tomorrow. Or not.

Dylan Charles

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April 20, 2011 · 12:51 pm

Downsides to Good Taste

Since I started reviewing beer as opposed to just drinking it, I’ve noticed an alarming trend. I’m having more and more trouble enjoying lower quality beers. They lack flavors and textures and depth. They taste like carbonated, alcoholic water not. They just no longer measure up beer that’s been aged in a bourbon cask.

This is mildly distressing. Ignoring issues like that this probably means I’m drinking too much and that better beers are more expensive beers, I’m concerned about turning into one of THOSE people. Those people who describe themselves as connoisseur and turn up their nose at those lesser foods that are insult to their palates. I’ve always hated that; people who can’t enjoy something that’s not stellar.

You should be able to enjoy the simpler things in life. To me, it seems less like they have refined palates and more like they have narrowed, constrained palates.

And it’s already happening to me. Last night at dinner, I ordered a few Indian beers. I told Emily that they weren’t “complex” and “lacked finish”. At which point I burst into tears when I realized how I sounded.

I’m a goddamn beer snob.

Dylan Charles

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April 19, 2011 · 5:54 pm

Break for Writing

I have about ten days before I start my new “real” job, which means I have ten days to really get some work done on all of my writing projects.

1. I’ve started writing for blogcritics.org and you can check out my profile right here. I’m real excited because this is a chance to boost my readership and also make a tiny bit of cash on the side. So, you should start seeing more and more movie reviews cropping up over there, like the one that appeared last Friday. I also have some ideas for some truly nerdy, more involved reviews, but we’ll see if anything actually comes of that.

2. I’ve selected all the stories that are going to be in the book. I’ve formatted them all and I’ve even started some (minor) editing. Now I just need to hunker down and really get to work on the book proper. I hope to be done with the second draft by May 1st and then we’ll take it from there.

3. I have another collection of short stories brewing that’s currently holding steady at only five stories. These are ones that no-one has seen yet (except for one). I’ve let this sit by the wayside while I’ve been working on everything else, but I think it might be time to revisit them.

So that’s what I’ll be working on. Excitement!

Dylan Charles

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April 15, 2011 · 12:00 pm

Movie Review: The Baby’s Room

Article first published as Movie Review: The Baby’s Room on Blogcritics.

Sonia (Leonor Watling) and Juan (Javier Gutiérrez) are a young couple with a baby. They’ve just moved into that house: the one that needs a lot of work, has had five different owners in as many years and is probably infested with helldemons. Then, the unexpected happens and strange noises and creepy figures start menacing the family. It’s up to Juan and his video camera to discover what’s trying to kill them.

The Baby’s Room (La habitación del niño) is a Spanish made-for-TV movie, part of the Films to Keep You Awake series (Películas para no dormer). It’s similar to the Masters of Horror series of Showtime, in that there’s blood and nudity and an astonishing amount of cursing en español.

It’s a strange mix of quirky humor and gritty, stomach dropping creepiness. It has a very similar tone to Poltergeist, where there were those funny moments right before the audience is dropped into a pit of horror. Things will be hunky-dory, with Juan joking around with Sonia and then two scenes later, there’s a dead body slithering across the floor. All the scenes with Juan and his camera in hand are stomach clenchingly creepy. The camera can see what he can’t and he wanders through his rambling house witnessing terrible things.

For all the creepiness, there are problems. The Baby’s Room is a brutally quick 79 minutes. As a result, the pacing feels rushed. Juan believes he’s in a haunted house without even pausing to consider other alternatives. Juan’s wife runs out the door at the first sign of trouble and their marriage goes from idyllic to broken in the space of a day. Character development is hinted at, but there’s never any follow through. At one point halfway into the movie, the boss tells the Juan that all they ever talk about is soccer. This is funny, because up until this point, they’ve never mentioned soccer. There’s just not enough time to develop the plot, so it all feels condensed and forced.

The music is also unnecessarily bombastic. It kind of ruins the tension when violins and drums suddenly barge their way through the scene. What’s worse is the music is so generic. I know I’ve heard this scary music before in other movies. Sometimes, scary music hurts a horror movie more than it helps and this is one of those cases.

Overall, The Baby’s Room succeeds in being a creepy little movie, but bad pacing, a lackluster soundtrack and odd character moments keeps this from being more than an average thriller.

Dylan Charles

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April 14, 2011 · 5:06 pm

Beer Review: Dogfish Head Red & White

Beer recommended by Stan Stolowski 

I’ve decided I really like these aged beers. They have more complex flavors and those flavors are far more appealing. For example, I’ve had cherry flavored beers before and I’ve also had Sam Adam’s American Kriek, which is a brew aged with Hungarian cherries and barrels and other things.

Cherry flavored beers taste like someone dropped a jar of maraschino cherries into a vat of some lightweight pale ale. It’s like an alcoholic’s version of cherry cola. Bleh. The American Kriek, however, is imbued with the flavor of cherries. It’s not overpowering, but it’s definitely there. It has an underlying layer of good things.

Dogfish Head’s Red & White is similarly complex. There’s not just one, overriding flavor. It, in fact, has three discrete tastes. It starts off Belgian, which is fine.  It doesn’t have that hard, thick flavor of a stout. It’s lighter, with more of punch to it than your average Belgian ale.

Next comes a sweetness and the taste of oranges. At first I was worried I was afflicted with a brain tumor and was suffering from low-grade gustatory hallucinations, but it turns out that it’s supposed to taste like oranges. Citrus is not a bad follow-up to Belgian.

And lastly, it ends on a bitter, crisp note,  which is great because I don’t think I’d want this to finish with an overwhelming flavor of oranges or Belgians.

It’s this kind of complexity, the three flavors so separate from one another, that gives aged beers their appeal. The only problem is that it’s twelve bucks per (giant) bottle of the stuff. Otherwise, I recommend the Red & White for anyone who wants something more interesting than your average Belgian, but not as daunting as last week’s Bourbon Stout.

So…an A. Yeah.

Dylan Charles

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