Monthly Archives: March 2011

March 31, 2011 · 10:40 pm

Beer Review: St. Victorious Doppelbock

After last week’s success with the Troegenator Doublebock, I decided to try a different one, this one the St. Victorious by Victory.

This one…not such a big fan. It’s a good beer: very sturdy tasting, kind of bitter, but not overwhelmingly so. It’s not leadheavy and while it tastes a little bit belgiany, it’s not enough to turn me off from it.

Really, it’s just not what I’ve been to lead to expect of a Doppelbock. Which is to say, it’s not on the sweet side, like eating a beery chocolate bar. It tastes like a Killian or a Guinness: kind of bitter, not too complex, no real wow to it. It’s a dependable tasting beer with a bit of kick to it too. It’s the kind of beer you would call to help you move a couch, not the kind of beer you’d call to go on a crazy crime spree.

I give you a B St. Victorious, for your dependability.

Dylan Charles

3 Comments

Filed under Food

Tagged as , , , , , ,

· 7:56 pm

Status Update

I’ve hit a rut. Or I’m in a rut. It doesn’t make much sense to say I’ve hit a rut really, as a rut isn’t a projection that one could run into.

Now I’m digressing. While in a rut.

My blog has slowed down. My writing has stopped. I can’t even really get focused on the book. Which, really, means only one thing.

I need to put my head down and barrel through this like a monkey wired on honey nut cheerios. I need to get my blog’s figures up these next couple of months. I’m gonna break the post barrier. I’m not just going to write 198 blog entries this year, I’m going to go all the way up to 200.

Bam, see that? You just got two more (promised) blog entries from me this year. No more lazing about and watching Bones reruns on Netflix. I’m going to put together my ebook thing and you’re going to buy it and then everyone wins.

Like Rocky said: “Yo, it’s cold outside Paulie.”

Words to live by.

Dylan Charles

Leave a Comment

Filed under Writing

Tagged as , , , ,

March 30, 2011 · 2:20 pm

Out in the Real World

I admire writers who don’t just write about their subjects, but decide to throw themselves headlong into the middle of things. Writers like A.J. Jacobs and Mary Roach who feel a need to actually live all the laws in the Bible or participate in sex studies because it’s not just enough to read about it. They’ve actually got to live it too.

And beyond them are folks like John Howard Griffin, a white journalist who altered his skin color to look black in the South during the 1950′s, or Nellie Bly, who, in the 1800′s, faked being crazy to get into an insane asylum and expose the horrible conditions inside.

It’s that kind of writing that I’ve wanted to do, but I can never think of anything to do. I don’t just want to stay inside all day making up stuff. I want to get out there and mix it up with undesirables in an an attempt to right social wrongs.

Well, maybe not that far. I think I’d lean more to the A.J. Jacobs end of the spectrum than Nellie Bly, but I still need to think of something to do.

Suggestions?

Dylan Charles

3 Comments

Filed under Writing

Tagged as , , , , , , ,

March 29, 2011 · 10:52 am

Do-It-Yourself Publishing

The idea of self-publishing a book seems like cheating to me. I would be bypassing all the rites of passage that a writer must go through in order to see their work in print. I wouldn’t have an agent. I wouldn’t have a publisher. I wouldn’t go through the painful and necessary process of rejection after rejection.

And then when I finally did get published, that’d be a sign that I had made it. That there were people willing to pay me cashy money for my work and take a chance on me doin’ good. Self-publishing always makes me think of some dude heading down to Kinkos with the poems he wrote in 9th grade.

But, lately, I keep hearing stories about people using Kindle Direct Publishing and how those people are managing to support themselves with their writing. This is the one thing that I want to be able to do. I want to live off my writing. I don’t want to work retail for the rest of my life. To me, that would be the real measure of success. Not whether or not a publishing company considers me marketable, but whether or not I can quit my day job and just…write.

So I’m going to try it. I’m going to publish a collection of my short stories, which will then be available wherever Amazon ebooks are sold.

Stay tuned.

Dylan Charles

6 Comments

Filed under Writing

Tagged as , , , , , , , , ,

March 26, 2011 · 1:10 pm

Beer Review: Troegenator DoubleBock

I’m noticing a distinct trend here: almost all the beers I’ve chosen to review have been really dark. Generally speaking, that’s because I prefer darker beers. I still don’t know how to describe the flavor in Belgian beer (hoppy? yeasty? bad?), but I know I can safely avoid it if I get a beer too dark to see through.

Anyway, I bought this beer a few weeks ago to review. And then I drank it too quickly to write about it Undeterred, I bought it again. And drank it all again. So this is my third attempt to review, which I would consider a plus in its favor.

It’s sweeter, with a strong flavor without being bitter Kind of like drinking a beery molasses. It’s not too heavy either, somewhere between beers like Guinness and lighter, fluffier beers. It’s got a decent kick, without being a knock-you-on-your-ass beer. All in all, it has rapidly become one of my favorite drinkin’ beers.

So…A I guess. Do I do letter grades for these things?

Dylan Charles

2 Comments

Filed under Food

Tagged as , , , , , , ,

March 24, 2011 · 5:56 pm

The Heart of Darkness

One of my (many) overly ambitious goals is to find the worst movie ever made. I hear at least one of you muttering to yourself, “But taste is a subjective thing, how can he possibly hope to find ‘the worst’ of anything?”

To which I reply, “Ah-HA, I have a foolproof system!”

I tell people the worst movie I’ve ever seen and wait for their response. If they blanch and turn white, then I know they haven’t seen anything worse. If, however, they counteract with their own worst movie, then I have a new lead.

For the longest time, no-one was able to top my worst film. There was agreement from all comers that what I’d seen was pretty reprehensible. I’d tell you what it is, but I’ll just link here instead and save myself the typing.

However, the other day, someone had a response for me. He told me about a movie that he hadn’t seen, but he’d heard about it. It’s a movie of almost mythical atrociousness, something only exists in legend. It sounds violent, disgusting and needless shocking. It sounds like a movie that would turn my stomach.

And I want to see it.

Understand this; I don’t think I’m going to get a single shred of enjoyment out of watching it. I think I’ll even end up feeling worse about myself as a person. But there’s a part of me that needs to see if it truly is THAT bad, if it is the worst movie ever made. Every time I watch a truly vile movie, I get a little more desensitized to that crap. Another tiny piece of me that can judge wholesome entertainment becomes necrotic and falls off.

So I’m a little worried about that. I’d tell you what movie, but I’m ashamed of my interest in it. I keep worrying at it in my head; it’s the loose tooth that won’t fall out and I can’t leave it alone.

Dylan Charles

3 Comments

Filed under Movies

Tagged as , , , , , ,

March 19, 2011 · 12:14 am

A Noir: In Three Parts

Part 1: Introduction

Our hero stands not so tall above the grime and grit of the City. He wallows in the gutterstench and he has a grease slick smile that spreads like spilled oil. His words burn spark and inflame the coming conflict. More than anything, it’s his ability to rub everyone the wrong way that opens up the case.

He moves in slow spirals toward the abyss, circling passed the bottle blonde with the pouting lips and the hair’s breadth dagger, passed the two-timing hood with the half-bent nose and absent heart, passed the reclusive old man who buries his dirty secrets in the City’s darkest chasms.

Down the detective moves, into darkness, where only the sound of his heart can be heard.

Part 2: The Conflict

It starts as a heartbeat’s slow thud rhythm. A steady punctuation mark, an ellipses between actions…waiting. Then a noise. Cloth rustling.

The beat speeds up.

Then another rapping. Footsteps tapping on concrete floor, hard shoes that run for cover, ringing out staccatto beats. Stutter step, a missed beat here, quick step slide. A beat with no rhythm now. Missed breath, catch in chest, ratta-tat-tat, quick, duck, down, low.

Silence.

Explosion of noise. Orange flame, dark night, sparks of light. Here, here, here. Flash and bang. Quick shots. Duck, roll, drop, spin. Violent percussion, cacophony. No beat.

Just noise.

Then the scream…the wail….break and silence looms.

Part Three: The End

A long whispered sigh begins to count out the evils that lead to this moment; to this point where the detective stands over the villain. A quiet thrum of dialog that explains everything. The gradual spilling of truth in a room heavy with copper smells and acrid smoke. The dead keep silent in the wings while all is revealed and they find out why they had to die.

An unfolding explanation that brings resolution to the reader and leaves the detective nothing but a mouthfull of ashes and a longing for the bottle.

Dylan Charles

2 Comments

Filed under Writing

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , ,

March 18, 2011 · 12:00 pm

Ten Minute Blog Entry

I’m giving myself ten minutes to write this blog entry, that includes spellchecking and the time it takes me to find an appropriate sound track.

Writing should never be easy. A writer should always push themselves in some way. To constantly write in a comfort zone is to invite bad writing, writing that has so little shine to it that the reader glazes over and goes back to the teevee.

On occasion, I’ve challenged myself, usually in a stunt like what I’m doing now (seven minutes left to say what I want to say). I’ve written a short story a day for a full month. I’ve written stream of consciousness bullshit. I’ve dabbled in subject matter that hasn’t particularly interested me to see if I could make it interesting (not usually).

I hate to think that I’m going to get to a point where writing is as easy as spitting, because that means that I’m not trying. It should be blood, sweat and tears from first word to final period. It’s in the trying that writing really becomes something. Otherwise the blog is nothing but a bunch of bullet point lists and pictures of rabbits I stole from some stock photo website (four minutes left).

I have to sprint now, to try and keep pace with the deadline. I need at least a minute to proofread.

But I think that I’ve managed to avoid the comfort zone, for the most part. I’m always trying something new here. Whether those attempts are successful or not is almost irrelevant, since the goal is about just doing it.

And time is up now.

Dylan Charles

3 Comments

Filed under Writing

Tagged as , , , , ,

March 17, 2011 · 6:43 pm

St. Patrick’s Day

I’ve never paid much attention to St. Patrick’s Day. At most, in middle school, I’d wear green just to make sure I didn’t get decked. Since then, I haven’t given it much thought.

That is, until I moved to Boston, which is apparently the epi-center of all things St. Patrick. I was already concerned about what would happen to the city given the combined factors of a rich and sturdy Irish heritage running through Boston’s history and an inordinately heavy concentration of colleges. Both things combined can only lead to ruffians carousing all night long, playing their rock musics far too loud. So I’ve been worried.

But my fears grew tenfold when I went to the bank today

So much green. So many green hats. So many paper shamrocks festooning the roughly five dozen Irish bahrs that litter Washington Street. I passed many people with their alcohol in hand and green clover on their cheeks. These are ominous tidings. A dark (green) cloud hovers over the city and come nightfall, I worry that this cloud will spill open and a fermented tide of drunken, raucous college students will flood these streets drowning any passersby in a sea of fermented beverages and illicit pharmaceuticals.

I will board up the windows and try and ride it out.

Heaven help me.

Dylan Charles

Leave a Comment

Filed under Horror

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , ,

March 16, 2011 · 3:44 pm

Movie Recommendations

It has been a while since I’ve gone out of m way to watch a terrible horror movie. Part of the reason is that I’ve been indulging in far more intellectual pursuits lately. Such as the gameboy. And comic books.

But I realized recently how much I miss watching absolute dreck. There’s a charm in shitty movies that you don’t often see in good movies. It’s a charm that comes from the knowledge that, at some point, everyone on set realized that they were making a terrible, terrible mistake and yet…they kept on making the movie. And that’s dedication. It shows a true love of cinema and a desire to be a part of that world.

Or I’m wrong and the people involved were batshit insane. They had an inherent inability to tell right from wrong and thus, were unable to see that they were perpetuating multiple crimes against art.

Either way, I need to watch something awful. And I need you to recommend something to me. That way I’ll have someone to blame.

So go ahead, tell me to watch something and I’ll do it and review it here.

Bring it on.

Dylan Charles

 

6 Comments

Filed under Movies

Tagged as , , , , , , , ,